Valentines for the Exes

heartsI spend a lot of time on this blog thinking about what I said and did and wishing I might have said or did something a little different. I also spend a lot of time trying to decide what I’d say now if I had the chance, and what better chance than Valentine’s Day? In honor of the occasion, here are the Valentine cards I wish I could send my exes.

To Joe:

Roses are red,/ Cookies are flat.../ We used to be pretty/ But now we're both fat.

To Shane:

Roses are red,/ Violets are blue.../ If we met today,/ I bet I'd hate you.

To Luke:

Roses are red,/ Violets are blue.../ I still am not telling/ Why I dumped you.

To Matt:

Roses are red,/ Jon Stewart is droll.../ I'm still of the opinion/ That you're an asshole.

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