So have you guys seen this dude who asked his exes for reviews that he could post on his Tinder? It got me thinking… What would my exes say if I asked them?

So did I ask them? Hell no. But I’m going to pretend I did. And here’s what I’m pretty sure they’d say.

Joe says: “Who are you again? Oh. Right. Uhhh, I guess she’s cool. You know, for a virgin. Oh, you’re not a virgin anymore? Uhhh, I dunno then. I’m cool, though. Want to see my Beavis impression? ME NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!”

Shane says: “I cannot condone Tinder or anything it stands for. I thought you were too good for this. I’m disappointed in you.”

Luke says: “Yo. Whaddup brah. Ramona’s a cool chick. She’s awesome and stuff. Yeah, like, cool, you know man? Nice dudette.”

Matt says: “Ramona is amazing. I really admire how she follows her dreams. (Hey, so, can we be friends now? Because I really need you to be friends with me because I am a clingy, desperate bastard who can’t stand when people hate him, even for good reason. So we’re friends now, right? Right? Cool.)”

So, you know, I’m going to give myself a good solid four-star rating. Thanks, exes.

What would your exes say if they wrote Tinder reviews for you? Do you use Tinder? What do you think of Jake’s ex-girlfriend reviews on his Tinder?