Let’s be honest. Sometimes we say things we regret. Sometimes other people say things they regret. And I’m just going to give the guys the benefit of the doubt here and assume that they regret these things that they said. That’s not going to stop me from writing about them, though.
“I was actually going to ask Bianca out. But then you came along.”
Oh, heartbreak of heartbreaks. Bianca was absolutely my nemesis in high school. She was tiny and cute and had long hair that she made funky braids in. She could pull a damsel in distress act like no one I’ve met before or since. And she repeatedly tried to steal Joe.
She had known Joe before me and, apparently, when I arrived, I messed up the entire youth group dynamic, and Joe was the only person who understood! She explained all of this very woefully to anyone who would listen and then she’d drag Joe off for private heart-to-hearts. I don’t know what happened in those private heart-to-hearts. I can only hope they weren’t private someotherbodypart-to-someotherbodyparts. In any case, all of the blame, in my mind, was heaped upon Bianca’s head, despite Joe’s obvious participation.
So I wasn’t a big fan of Bianca.
After we stopped dating, Joe came back a few times, and attended a few youth group functions. One in particular I remember was a “lock-in,” which was basically a coed slumber party for teenagers. I snuck off to take a nap around dawn and Joe found me and we got to talking. And he said the infamous, “I was actually going to ask Bianca out. But then you came along.”
I didn’t stab him in the eye. I probably deserve a medal or something.